Saturday, July 25, 2009

It seems strange to me.

Yesterday, I was getting dressed to take my babies out for lunch. I put on my shirt and then my jeans. The jeans I put on today I had not worn in about a month. They are the stretch type jeans. Now trust me these jeans know what it is like to be stretched to capacity! I have worn these babies thru when I was 40 pounds heavier and could barely zip them up!! So, I put the jeans on and with ease zipped them up. But, this time they are loose!! I could not believe that my jeans were finally loose! I thought this was never going to happen. I actually had to fold the top under so they wouldn't stick out!! So, I get dressed and am on my way.

I meet my daughter and my 2 grand babies and go into the restaurant. This is something that I have never done but, I was being brave today. I did not tell the waiter to make sure to seat us at a table. Because being big we all know that a huge fear is BOOTHS! The fear of not fitting. So with the jeans being loose I am being a little "Riskay" (Yes Pronounced Risk kay.) LOL. We were seated and guess what?! I fit!! Ha ha! I was thrilled to not feel like I was an inconvenience. Or an embarrassment to the ones that were with me because I had to specially ask for a table. We had a great time together and we ate and laughed. My two favorite things! That and being with my family which means more to me than anything. My daughter and my granddaughters leave.

Me and my daughter Briana decide we want to go school shopping and get supplies at Walmart. I wanted to look at prices on a Wii. Because, I told myself once I lose 50 pounds I am getting the Wii along with the EA Sports Active. So, when I don't make it to the gym I will work out at home. On our way to the electronic department we go thru the Plus size clothing. My daughter sees a sundress and wants me to try it on. I asked her to grab the largest size (because that's what I do I always look for the largest) The largest they had was only a 22/24. Not going to work for me. I wear a 30/32. She keeps going on and on about trying it on anyhow. I did. I did it to humor her and possibly get a laugh myself. Because I am going to look like a sausage with too small a casing! I didn't go to the dressing room I figured I would just squeeze it over my tank top. When I hear the threads start to pop I will stop and hang it back on the rack. Well...... I was in shock... this thing actually fit me!! Unbelievable!

I find myself still not believing a day later that I can wear that size. My oldest daughter is excited and wants to start getting me clothes in that size now and I keep telling myself (and everyone else that knows) I really don't wear that size that the manufacturer made an error somewhere and this is not the size I am in. I wish I could see that with the loss of 40 pounds I may actually wear that size. I still don't believe it tho. My kids want me to start buying more clothes and I just don't want to yet. I am happy wearing my larger tops and sweat pants that I can tell are looser in my legs and waist area. They are even longer. Which I always laugh out loud when I am wearing them. I will put my clothes on and step on the length of my pants which has never happened before. I was always trying to pull my pants down lower on my waist because my length has always been to short. Now I am wearing my pants up higher because of how long they are and I even roll the waist bands down some because they are a little big. It's all a little surreal to me.