Sunday, February 28, 2010

Okay...Okay... I knew better!!

This is the last day of February of 2010. I took a break from counting points/calories/exercising/journal ling/ and everything that dealt with my health months ago! *sigh*

So, I took a break during Thanksgiving/Christmas which went thru into the New Year and all the way thru the past 2 months! Oy Vey!! I have gained 17 pounds back in 4 months!! I didn't think it would matter that much, But it did! I went to the Dr's 2 weeks ago and asked her to tell me what was the last weight that she had recorded in my file. The last time I had been to the Dr was right before the holidays started. I knew it would have been at my lowest since I started WW. She read the number...... I will never forget the shame and remorse that I felt at that moment. I was very disappointed in myself. I hung my head and said I knew I gained, but I thought it was 10 pounds at the most! I let her know that I stopped WW during the holidays and we both said to each other, that it is something that I should not have done. I no longer felt awesome like I had when I was working out and watching what foods went into my mouth. I stopped holding myself accountable and sabotaged myself again. But the good thing is I will not allow that to stop me. All that happened was a small bump in the road on my weight loss journey. At the time it felt like a pothole the size of a semi..but nothing I can not work thru and successfully achieve my goal.

I told myself that I can do this without my WW meetings and I can't! I need a good support system and whether or not I want to spend that money... It is something that I have to do for now till I can do it on my own. I may have to go to WW all of my life, even once I have lost the all of the extra weight. It is what it is.

After 4 months of eating junk and unhealthy foods, I feel lazy, tired, sluggish, depressed and winded. I feel unattractive, lumpy and disgusted. My body aches and I have no energy. When I was eating better choices of food and working out, I felt like "Wonder Woman" It was amazing how I felt and I want to feel like that again. When I was working the program,eating right and exercising I felt on top of the world and I want that feeling again!!

Tomorrow I start back with my early morning work outs and I am back to doing what was working for me before. I am going back to my WW Meeting on Tuesday and it is on again!! I can not allow 4 months to turn into years as I have done in the past. I am just sad that I let myself think that because it was the holidays that I deserved to take a small break . If I had done anything as far as taking a break it should have been to make better choices during the holiday season and allow myself a few bites of my favorite goodies only for that day and work out extra to allow for the extra temptations.

I know how it works ... Calories in Calories out .. There has to be a balance. It is ok to eat your favorite foods, just in moderation and you can reduce the caloric content without losing the taste. You also have to add that exercise. I am looking forward to getting back on it and feeling wonderful!!

Heres to feeling good once again!!

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